ECWR Community Forum

How do you live single long-term?

WhoAmI — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:33:47 GMT

Hey there -- new to the forum. Glad to be here.

I'm interested in hearing people's stories of singleness. I know it's not everyone's choice to live celibate as a gay Christian, but it is how I've lived for more than 20 years. I'm male and 42 years old.

Most of those years has been lived in the context of hoping my sexual orientation would change or get fixed -- healing prayer, deliverance, ex-gay groups. I lived with a lot of angst and self-hatred, and anger and confusion toward God over why I was doing everything everyone said to find "heterosexual me" but without success. In January '09 I stopped believing that and, at 42, began to describe myself as gay. Amazingly, the bulk of my very regular and powerful suicidal thoughts left. I'm sure many of you can relate to that.

I am still committed to singleness. What's helped me thrive over these years, I think, is a strong community of people and one or two close single guy best friends. In the best times, I felt part of a family -- including being "uncle" to kids -- and have found in friends grace and understanding for my loneliness or sexual struggles. I also have found solace and intimacy with God in the contemplative / mystical practices of ancient Christianity.

In harder times, like now, I'm finding a few of my long-term Christian friends freaking out as I use the word "gay" or talk about how, sometimes, finding a relationship looks really attractive to me. Their negative reactions are incredibly painful. I also have friends who get how hard this is for me, and are glad to keep walking with me.

So I could use some encouragement from those of you that are also making this choice to live single as a gay Christian. What has helped you thrive? What has been hard? Are there any books or scripture passages that you've found encouraging? What do you talk about with your straight friends, and what do you not talk about with them?

Please, let's not make this a discussion debating singleness or relationships. There are plenty of other threads for that. I'd like to hear from people who believe they must live single to be faithful to the Bible, and how that works for them.

Thanks!.

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

ConnECtion 2009 Forum

ecwr — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:40:39 GMT

Attendees of ConnECtion 2009 are invited to post stories of how their lives were touched at this year's ConnECtion. Did you experience a breakthough in your spiritual life? Was there something in a keynote or a workshop that hit home in a powerful way? Share your stories here at the forum. Excerpts from this forum will be posted on our ConnECtion 2009 page and shared in our monthly newsletter. You can choose to remain anonymous if you'd like. To ensure the safety of this forum, all submissions will be moderated prior to live posting. Forum registration is required.

APPROPRIATE CONTENT STATEMENT

This message board is intended for use by members of our loving GLBT Community of Christians and those who support us. In an effort to maintain this message board as a safe place for all of our GLBT Christian family, all user accounts and messages in this forum are reviewed by the ECWR Moderator prior to live posting.

We reserve the right to deny the posting of any message that is presented in a spirit that is counter to our mission statement and beliefs. This message board is not intended to serve as a forum for those who oppose our views. Any posts that are deemed inappropriate to the spirit of forum will be deleted prior to posting and your account will be removed.

We thank you in advance for your understanding.

Forum: ConnECtion 09 Forum

Homosexuality is not a sin!

beefy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:54:39 GMT

hxxp: media. http://www. hsuoracle. com/media/storage/paper927/news/2006/10/24/Opinion/Student. Explains. Why. Homosexuality. Is. Not. A. Sin-2398790. shtml

Let me start this off with a quote from a famous lesbian, Lynn Lavner:

"There are 6 admonishments in the Bible concerning homosexual activity, and our enemies are always throwing them up to us - usually in a vicious way and very much out of context.

What they don't want us to remember is that there are 362 admonishments in the Bible concerning heterosexual activity. I don't mean to imply by this that God doesn't love straight people, only that they seem to require a great deal more supervision. "

Remember this throughout this article.

I am going to attempt to keep this short and simple, so here we go.

Some claim that Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 clearly say that homosexual sex is an abomination. In fact, it merits death. Isn't it obvious that God hates homosexuality?

Yes, depending on which translation you are using, Leviticus does say, "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female, it's an abomination. "

However, a few points must be made about this statement:

a) It appears in Leviticus, which was given to preserve the distinctive characteristics of the religion and culture of Israel. However, as stated in Galatians 3:22-55, Christians are no longer bound by these Jewish laws. Even if you, for some reason, argue that these "laws" are still important, then you surely follow all of them, right?

It is interesting that people who use Leviticus against the Queer community forget the part that talks about religious sacrifices, making women sleep in tents outside during their period, the dietary restrictions placed on them and how to cleanse a leper, all of which appear in Leviticus.

The laws of Leviticus are completely obsolete for today's Christian; however, even if you do claim to live by the laws of Leviticus, it is not fair to pick and choose which laws you are going to live by, or condemn a people by, if you are not going to follow the others. You should not need any more convincing evidence than this; but if you do, be my guest.

b) The word that was in the original work, "to'ebah," which was translated into Greek as "bdglygma" actually means "ritual impurity" rather than abomination (or enormous sin). These passages in Leviticus can be translated to not mean homosexual sex generally, but only limiting homosexual sex in Pagan temples.

c) This passage does not denounce homosexual behavior as a whole, but just the specific act of anal sex. This was meant for the prevention of disease. It was ruled unclean because it was physically unclean; however, hygiene has made wonderful advances since that time.

d) These passages in Leviticus can be interpreted in many ways. I have seen it interpreted by scholars and priests to mean: "don't have sex with another man in your wife's bed;" "don't have sex with another man in the temple;" and "don't have sex with another man and pretend he is a woman," just to name a few.

I have never seen an interpretation in any Bible, or from any scholar, that specifically says to never have sex with a man.

Some claim the Bible simply does not support gay marriage. Chapter two of Genesis defines marriage as a holy union between a man and a woman. And later, in Matthew 19:4-5, Jesus himself reiterates the traits of a traditional marriage. How can you argue that anything other than celibacy is honorable for gay and lesbian people?

Yes, marriage is a holy union. However, in these passages, while Jesus reiterates (but does not require) the traditional marriage, he also provides an exception for eunuchs (castrated men - or otherwise impotent men, in today's terms), and allowed them to be married, saying that this law is given to those to whom it applies.

Because these eunuchs were born sexless, God made an exception for them because it was natural. The same applies to the Queer community today. Science has proven homosexuality is completely natural, so it seems God would allow for homosexual marriages.

In Matthew 19: 4-5, Jesus encourages a traditional path, but does not discourage alternatives, except in the case of divorce.

Jesus did stress purity of marriage, but not in regard to the sexes of the people within it. It can be seen that the reason that churches are against homosexual marriage is not because it is explicitly said by God, but because of a lack of instruction to specifically allow it.

In the time that the Bible was written it would have been impossible to foresee the future to be able to specifically allow or forbid homosexual marriage.

Some claim, in Paul's letter to the Corinthians, he lists homosexuals amongst the many sinners who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Doesn't that make God's position on this vice very clear?

If we look at the other types of people listed in this passage, we can understand what it is actually talking about. Law breakers, thieves, adulterers and drunks are specifically mentioned. The word "homosexual" was not found until the 1890s, so it would have been impossible for it to be in the original version.

What actually appears in the original is Paul condemning those who are "effeminate" and "abusers of themselves with mankind. " In this context, the original Greek word, "malakos," is translated into effeminate, or soft, which, more than likely, refers to someone who lacks discipline or moral control.

In this passage, when Paul condemns "abusers of themselves with mankind," he is speaking of male prostitutes.

Then there are the people who claim that, even though science has proven that people don't choose there sexual orientation, the fact remains that homosexuality is unnatural. Romans 1:26-27 tells us that humans have a sinful nature, and therefore commit sins against God. Certain people are predisposed to be alcoholics and pedophiles, but that doesn't make their actions any less immoral. God tells us to "tear out your eye" if it makes you stumble. Why can't you just accept homosexuality as the part of your nature you must deny?

Because the Bible has gone through so many translations, and through the hands of many people (some being non-believers), it is not surprising that the meaning has become a little fuzzy in parts.

Homosexuality is normal. The phrase "para physin" appears in the original text for this verse. This term is often translated to mean "unnatural;" however, more accurate translation would be unconventional.

Proof for this can be found in 1 Corinthians 11:14 where Paul uses this phrase to refer to men with long hair (unconventional, not unnatural) and in Romans 11:24 where Paul uses this phrase to refer to the positive action God made to bring together the Jews and Gentiles.

All in all, homosexuality is obviously not a sin, unless you take passages from the Bible and add your own words or you just try really hard to interpret it that way. Let's just remember Galatians 5:14, where Paul stated, "the whole Law is fulfilled in one Statement, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself. '"

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

ECWR Gay Christian Book Talk

ecwr — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 10:33:20 GMT

Have you read a good book lately that helped you on your journey of reconciliation with your faith vs sexuality? Tell us about it here at the forum by reply to this post. If possible include links to the book so others can get a hold of it.

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

Message Board Appropriate Content

ecwr — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 13:27:01 GMT

This message board is intended for use by members of our loving GLBT Community of Christians and those who support us. In an effort to maintain this message board as a safe place for all of our GLBT Christian family, all user accounts and messages in this forum are reviewed by the ECWR Moderator prior to live posting.

We reserve the right to deny the posting of any message that is presented in a spirit that is counter to our mission statement and beliefs. This message board is not intended to serve as a forum for those who oppose our views. There are plenty of other places for that on the web. Any posts that are deemed inappropriate to the spirit of forum will be deleted prior to posting and your account will be removed.

We thank you in advance for your understanding.

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

meetings

dianasue — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:18:50 GMT

I would like to attend a meeting in Raleigh NC but my email is not being answered and there is no phone number to call. Does anyone know if there still are meetings going on here? Thanks

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

I would just like to say...

thatcher — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:46:58 GMT

I would just like to say hello and thank you for your welcome to me on the ECWR community message board.

I come from Surrey not too far from London and I would consider myself as a radical christian both in using my faith in my work and in my personal life.

I had the pleasure in going to a ECWR regional conferance in 2006 near to Seattle and spending some time in the Emerald City ( which I love). The conference was great and the meeting of others was good too. I recommend everyone going to these conferences. I am a bit shy in making new friends but I was made very welcome.

I have just attended a similiar weekend which we call a retreat for a similiar organisation called "Courage" in England. Jeremy Marks ,author of your feature in this months newsletter , organises these retreats. They happen in September and if any one from the US wants to come on them they would be most welcome by the way.

God bless you all

Marc from Surrey

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

Hello

mike — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:05:46 GMT

Hola or Hello
I am on the board of directors and would like to hear from you. What would you like to see at Connection 2008? New or a repeat?

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

Hello Everyone :-)

rizi — Thur, 04 Sep 2008 21:29:09 GMT

Hi everyone. I am so happy to have stumbled on this forum where i can meet other gay Christians like myself My name is Rizi Timane. I am an out gospel singer who strives to let those in our community know that Gods love is INCLUSIVE of us too even though we have been told differently by the fundamentalist Church and other misinformed members of our families and communities(in my case, growing up in conservative and extremely religious Africa as an out lesbian did prove challenging-you can see a video testimony on my website http://www.rizigospel.com) but in the end, i found out the truth. God loves us just the way we are! so if you have ever desired a closer relationship with God but were discouraged by religious misinformation, biblical misinterpretation and religion based hatred, please know that you are welcome in the family of Christ, you are not a mistake and your sexuality as the rest of you, is a gift from God. Embrace it with gratefulness and pride. God bless you all

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

ConnECtion 2008: Favorite Moments

ecwr — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 11:11:17 GMT

ConnECtion 2008 was held in Tacoma Washington last July. If you attended the conference this year, please share with us a favorite moment from the conference. Perhaps a WOW moment from a keynote or workshop, a new friendship formed, a special touch from the Lord during worship, a great time at the EC disco?

We wanna know!

HERE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS.....

For me, attending ConnECtion 2008 was special on many levels. As the web developer for ECWR, I came to ConnECtion to focus on the ECWR website, but t it did not take long for me to find my heart as well as my head!

I was blessed to be a part of the music team and help lead our community of believers into a meaningful time of worship. This was the first time that I had lead worship on a stage since I had come out 8 years ago. I had been a regular part of music ministry for many years, and even sang full time in a Christian rock band in Europe. But when I came out I voluntarily stepped down from ministry because I had personally witnessed several of my gay friends, also in ministry, being publicly humiliated by their church leaders. Their broken hearts and my own desire to protect my own spirit - and musical talents - lead to an early retirement from music ministry. I had genuinely thought that I would never be on a worship team again... until ECWR called. And what a blessing it was!

Thank you to all the guys on the music team who gave me new wings and allowed me to share my musical gifts with my dear Christian brothers and sisters!

Bobby

Forum: ECWR General Discussion

Welcome to the Message Board!

ecwr — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:47:17 GMT

Welcome to the ECWR Gay Christian Message Board! This is the latest community forum from ECWR.org and its purpose is to bring our large community together online.

We encourage everyone to register on the Message Board! We hope that hearts will be blessed, lives will be touched, friendships forged and discussions stimulated on our new forum.

A few rules for our forum:

DO introduce yourself to our community. You can be anonymous or your genuine self; it's your choice.
DO introduce new topics for discussion and feel free to moderate those discussions.
DO be respectful of others online. This includes personal boundaries as well as individual opinions on topics.
DON'T post messages that contain inappropriate language or explicit content. Messages are moderated and these will be deleted.
DON'T be shy. This is YOUR forum!

In addition to our message board, we have also implemented the ECWR Gay Christian Blog located on Blogger.com.

So what's the difference between a message board and a blog?

The primary difference between the two is that Blogs only allow the Blog owner to post messages and content. While visitors can view messages and post comments, they cannot introduce new content to the blog by posting messages.

A Message board, on the other hand, allows not only the board owner, but anyone in our community to post messages and replies also. The Message Board is community-driven, whereas a blog is single-user driven.

Each week the blog will feature specific articles of discussion and blog readers can post their comments on the articles. The Message Board, on the other hand, is an opportunity for YOU to create your own topics of discussion. Anyone can post and anyone can comment.

I hope that both our blog and our message board will be used together to stimulate discussion. But there will be times when YOU will want to post a message and invite others to respond. And that is the beauty of the Message Board.

Yours in His Service

Robert Arrington
ECWR Web Dude and Forum Moderator

Forum: ECWR General Discussion